When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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