Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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