Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
