NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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