if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
