when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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