I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize