i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
