I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
