She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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