Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
