I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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