I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's paint friendship bongs
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.