who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today