The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now