Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough