batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
As shirtless as possible
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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