Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
