i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize