Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
