normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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