while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
