Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im calling her cock vulture from now on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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