There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize