Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.