she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.