Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
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WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize