what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.