I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy