you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
