this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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