Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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