do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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