So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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