Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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