Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize