hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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