Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
