We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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