life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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