it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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