Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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