So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
