i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize