fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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