Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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