i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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