So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize