I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.