All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
