Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize