I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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