Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion