would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh good, I think they're gone
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.