I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???