Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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