My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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